I Wish . . .

Sometimes, I wish I had an older sister. Someone I could talk to about things I don't feel comfortable talking about with anyone else. All I've got though, as an older half-brother, the generation gap between us is simply too massive.

I would take, in place of an older sister, an older woman friend, someone I could look to as a mentor that isn't directly related to me by blood or marital connection. Where can I find one of those? Why I'm writing this is because I've been feeling really quite down in the dumps lately. Too much free time will do that to you, and I spend most of my days cooped up inside the house because it's too hot to go out during the day, and there really isn't anything to do in this town even if I wanted to go out.

I remember back in Dollhouse episode "Briar Rose", Topher made Echo into a woman who was meant to go talk to a troubled little girl, only to turn out to be that same girl who'd gotten ahead in years and had gotten over her issues. I basically need an older me that will help me through my current hangups.

Currently, I miss Santa Barbara and all the freedom of movement I had there, I miss my friends from there, and essentially feel incomplete without Santa Barbara things taking up my time (even at its most stressful I wouldn't trade it for where I am right now). I miss trying Mika's mystery food, I miss yelling across the hall to my roommates knowing that a screaming match is just around the corner, I miss photoshopped audio.

I've officially outgrown my hometown. Pure and simple. I feel like I need a trip to SB, to reboot my batteries. My last week there was filled with too many stressful parameters, and I feel the need to go back and give myself a proper sendoff into the summer.